I'll look up and down the coast

Transit is such a good fucking band. holy shit. i cannot believe i have slept on this band for so long.

In other band news... Anthems is playing our last show on August 3rd, but i'm not done with music yet. I'm talking to this kid who plays drums, and looking for another guitarist to write with cody..

I'm hopeful.

I'll find you..

So i'd be lying if i said i wasn't jealous.

So many things i'd like to do. sigh.

The Wooden Solider

Do you ever feel like you've just bitten your tongue for too long?

I woke up today and felt that way. I've been burying hatchets all week and it feels good, but i feel like there is so much that i would like to say to the people i've been talking to.

I hung out with Jordan again today, he leaves tomorrow morning. As much as i've been against this war, it's never really hit me this close to home before. The worst part is, he doesn't know why he's fighting in a war. He joined the army so he could get money for his education. What a fucked up position. He's become a mercenary in somebody's selfish, mindless war.

I saw the movie Wanted today. So good.
I also went and saw The Dark Knight at midnight on opening night. Amazing.

I get my bike fixed tomorrow, as well as mail off the letter for my severance pay. Maybe even file for unemployment.
I need a job, but I don't want one.
What a great time it would be for me to tour or travel. I have some money in the bank, i'm going to get unemployment. I need to find someone to tour with. (any ideas?)

Maybe i'll just head to CA with Tim for a week or something when he goes back, help him get settled in.

Who knows.

To The Top..

I'm so fucking sick of everything I do being some half-assed attempt to make me feel better. I really need to take advantage of this time off to really zone in on my skills (or lack thereof) in photoshop. I also need to take the time to perfect my screenprinting. No longer am I selling shirts that have half the fucking design fucked up.

God fucking damnit.

The Red Death

Not much has happened since the last time I've blogged.

Spent some time with a friend that is headed to the army (good luck bro, be safe!) Hung out at the house, spending time with the parents.

More importantly, I've been rebuilding some of the friendships that I've lost over the past few months. As I stated previously, this month has been gnarly and I've been a pretty selfish person.

I got laid off from my job on Monday. The company had to shut down hotel operations due to our license being revoked. The job should resume in 60-120 days. So we'll see.

Tonight I'm going to see The Wonder Years and then The Dark Knight.

Scar Gardens

I was supposed to wake up today and be excited that I didn't have to worry about anything. All the stress was supposed to be gone and I was supposed to wake up a new man.

This week fucking sucked from start to finish.

• The show didn't go over too well. I almost got in a fight with some fucking kid who wanted to tell ME what hardcore was, the PA cut out halfway through our set.
• My Immunity Launch Party was a disaster. Artists bailed out, kids didn't come.

I just can't wait for this week to be over.

the hardest part.

I guess the hardest part of things right now is self realization. As I'm typing this I am coming to terms with the fact that my life is in shambles. Now this may sound like a cry for help or some other over dramatic bullshit, but trust me when I say it's not.

I tend to suffer from "Dreamers Disease" while I'm sure it's listed in UrbanDictionary.com, I don't feel like looking it up. Here is my definition. I get too over invested in my projects and put too much of myself in them. Hoping for something almost unreal to happen.
While it is good to believe in yourself, it sucks letting yourself down time after time.

I'm spending the next few weeks not worrying about anything. I'm going to get ready for the Have Heart show, get ready for the Immunity Clothing launch party. Then, that's it. No mailorder, no practice, no writing, no designing. I MIGHT check the Immunity myspace, and I MIGHT check the Anthems page.

I have to get my life straightened out and I need to stop stressing about things that ultimately have no effect on the rest of my life.
Please take note, I am in no way, shape, or form saying that I am quitting my band; that we are breaking up; that i'm going to stop doing shirts; or that I am going to cut all communication.
I am only saying that I will be worrying less about the aforementioned and I am going to focus more on hanging out with my friends, taking care of my pets, hanging with my lovely lady, and cleaning my house.

This decision has been a long time coming, and I almost did something really fucking stupid today (not suicide, don't be gay.) Luckily I have amazing friends who know what to say and how to say it to make me wake up.

Let's hope things can only get better.